can someone check my grammar?
December 152009
According to Balliger, politics are not merely political structure but it’s all about power relation in everyday activities. From my personal musical experience I also encounter some of this situation where dominating power of foreign music influence the society. I was watching a primetime TV show in which the singers singing pop music are collaborated by the kulintang ensemble, but instead of playing the instruments on its traditional manner the performer were instructed to change the rhythmic pattern in order to cope to the pop music. The function of the kulintang ensamble is purely to accompany the group of pop singers. This situation show how the music industry today politically manipulates and washout the value of traditional music of our country. Aside from this I also notice that some of the radio station in the country is purchasing and continuously airing Korean pop even though we don’t understand the language some people are trying to sing and do the dances step of these songs.
Change to this:
According to Balliger, politics are not merely found in the political realm; they are found in power relations in everyday activities. From my own personal musical experience, I have also seen some situations where the dominating power of foreign music has influenced society. I was watching a primetime TV show, where the singers sang pop music in collaboration with a kulintang ensemble. Instead of playing their instruments in the traditional manner, however, they were instructed to change their rhythmic pattern to match the rhythm of the pop music. Here, the function of the kulintang ensemble is fundamentally modified in order to conform to the music of the pop culture. This example shows how the music industry today politically manipulates the traditional music of our country, which washes the music of its cultural value and meaning. Aside from this, I have also noticed that some radio stations in our country are purchasing and playing Korean pop music, even though we don’t understand the Korean language. Despite this lack of understanding, some peope are attempting to sing the lyrics and do the coreography from the music videos of these songs.
In addition, your first sentence is derived from a quote by Robin Balliger. You need to properly footnote her in order to avoid plagiarism. So, add a little number "1" at the end of the first sentence, and have at the bottom of your paper:
1. Robin Balliger, “Politics.” Key Terms in Popular Music and Culture, ed. Bruce Horner and Thomas Swiss (Malden, Massachusetts: Blackwell Publishers Inc., 1999) 57.
In the footnote, the title ‘Key Terms in Popular Music and Culture’ needs to be italicized.
Hope I was of help. 
December 15th, 2009 at 6:35 am
Hi,
The first one is a simple grammar check. The second one is a revision of the entire structure to aid the flow of meaning. You can compare them and determine what parts you want to use.
Good luck.
According to Balliger, politics are not merely political structure but are all about power relations in everyday activities. From my personal musical experience I also encounter the situation where the dominating power of foreign music influences the society. I was watching a prime time TV show in which the singers singing pop music were joined by a kulintang ensemble, but instead of playing the instruments on its traditional manner the performer were instructed to change the rhythmic pattern in order to be compatible with pop music. The function of the kulintang ensamble was purely to accompany the group of pop singers. This situation shows how the music industry today politically manipulates and washes out the value of traditional music of our country. Aside from this I also notice that some of the radio stations in the country are purchasing and continuously airing Korean pop even though we don’t understand the language, and some people are trying to sing and do the dance steps of these songs.
According to Balliger, politics are not only a political structure but also refer to power relations in everyday activities. I have encountered, for example a situation where the dominating power of foreign music outweighs traditional musical customs. For example, I have seen a prime time TV show on which pop music singers collaborated with a kulintang ensemble, but instead of playing the instruments in their traditional manner, the performers were instructed to change the rhythmic pattern to a more pop oriented style. The function of the kulintang ensemble was diminished to mere accompaniment for the group of pop singers. This situation shows how the music industry today politically manipulates traditional music of our country, washing out the cultural value. Along this point, some radio stations purchase and continuously air Korean pop even though we don’t understand the language, and some people still try to sing to and do the dance steps for these songs.
References :
December 15th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Change to this:
According to Balliger, politics are not merely found in the political realm; they are found in power relations in everyday activities. From my own personal musical experience, I have also seen some situations where the dominating power of foreign music has influenced society. I was watching a primetime TV show, where the singers sang pop music in collaboration with a kulintang ensemble. Instead of playing their instruments in the traditional manner, however, they were instructed to change their rhythmic pattern to match the rhythm of the pop music. Here, the function of the kulintang ensemble is fundamentally modified in order to conform to the music of the pop culture. This example shows how the music industry today politically manipulates the traditional music of our country, which washes the music of its cultural value and meaning. Aside from this, I have also noticed that some radio stations in our country are purchasing and playing Korean pop music, even though we don’t understand the Korean language. Despite this lack of understanding, some peope are attempting to sing the lyrics and do the coreography from the music videos of these songs.
In addition, your first sentence is derived from a quote by Robin Balliger. You need to properly footnote her in order to avoid plagiarism. So, add a little number "1" at the end of the first sentence, and have at the bottom of your paper:
1. Robin Balliger, “Politics.” Key Terms in Popular Music and Culture, ed. Bruce Horner and Thomas Swiss (Malden, Massachusetts: Blackwell Publishers Inc., 1999) 57.
In the footnote, the title ‘Key Terms in Popular Music and Culture’ needs to be italicized.
Hope I was of help.
References :